forty-four.

I'm 111.5 today, but I expected that. Last night I had a garlic breadstick, three mozzerella sticks, and three small brownies that my mom made. At the least, I reached 1000. I don't know how many calories were in any of it. But that's fine. I feel marginally better today and ready to go again. All I've had is 400cals worth of cereal and milk, and that's what it's staying at. Period.

Tomorrow I go to my dad's house in PA, then we leave for Florida at 4AM. Yay! The only thing is, he said we'll go get dinner after I get there. Ugh. No possible way I want that. I either have to go early to beat rush hour traffic (and go to dinner) or I can leave later and miss the traffic. And, conveniently, dinner. If I do go, the ONLY thing I am allowed is a small salad. No dressing. I will not consume anything until that dinner. If I'm not hungry enough to eat it without dressing (I don't really like lettuce) then I'm not hungry enough for food. If I go later and don't go to dinner, I'm allowed two 80cal yogurts. So I'm safe either way. All that I'll have to eat in the car is fruit. I'm hoping to be 110 by the time I wake up in FL. Because we won't get there until around 11PM or later and I know I won't want to unpack my scale when I'm that tired. So by Saturday morning I'm aiming for 110. Hopefully it won't be a problem :)

I'm going to hang out with a friend I haven't seen since October later tonight. Whenever we hang out we usually spend a few hours walking around town and talking. I'm counting on this to get some cardio in and work off whatever's left of yesterday's grossness and today's cereal. I got used to feeling so empty that my body was almost like one big cramp. Like, everything squeezed together because there was no fat to smush it apart. Now I feel almost normal. I'm thankful, since I was worried about the damage I was doing to myself. But now I just want everything out of me and to get back on track. I can still grab handfuls of fat all over my body, and it disgusts me.

BF's coming back into the room now, and he likes glancing atmy computer so I'm off for now. Stay strong :)

Eedee.