I wonder how many times I have to fail before I just give up altogether. After vowing to myself, and all of you, that today would be a no food day, I just threw it out the window. Had two bowls of cereal with whole milk this afternoon. 540 calories for two bowls of fucking cereal. Maybe a little less because I always overestimate how much I have. Then, as I was leaving my boy's house, I started to shake. Just a fine trembling in my hands and I felt so. damn. weak. I legit felt like I would throw up and pass out. I have no idea why. It scared me. A lot. So I came home and had a clementine (which I read on someone's blog is considered to have negative calories because you burn more eating and digesting it than it starts with? can anyone confirm this?) and a Lean Pocket with 260 more calories. I don't feel bad about that because I was just freaked out by my body. I get lightheaded and headaches and stuff when I haven't eaten for a while, sometimes even a little nauseous. But I can't remember ever feeling as bad as I did an hour and a half ago. For no reason! I pigged the hell out for the past few days and then I had that damn cereal. Can you get a reaction like that from being dehydrated? Because the laxatives from yesterday (took four, which I've never done before) leeched a lot of water out of me and I only drank maybe half a bottle today. Hmm.
Haha, I just added the calories for today and my mind went insane. Because I got over 1000. Went back and looked at the cereal and was like..there is no WAY two bowls of cereal is over 800 calories. I seriously have to start carrying measuring cups around with me. I have no concept of portion size. I always think a cup is so kuch smaller than it is. It definitely makes me freak out.
So my stomach is killing me, my back and stomach keep gurgling and I feel like I have to shit more but nothing's coming out. More laxatives in a few days if it persists. Hope all of you out there are dloing better than me.
Eedee.
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In my experience, you can fail many many times and still not give up if you still want it bad enough. I know i've failed millions of times, but i'm seriously unable to give up; i want it to bad.
ReplyDeleteMy guess is you probably were dehydrated. I know that i get shaky and such whenever i've not had any water all day.
Once you use a measuring cup a few times, your idea of how much it is will definitely improve. I used to think a cup was so much smaller than it really is, but then after a couple times of using a cup, i got the right amount figured out.
Stay strong, and feel better.
Yeah my mom agreed with the dehydration thing too. Thanks for all your support. I seriously love you :D
ReplyDeleteI get lightheaded and sleepy when I don't eat. I hope your body feels better.
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